Amanda Holden has delivered one of the most emotional moments ever seen on British television — opening up about the loss of her stillborn son Theo and revealing how she has carried him with her every single day since.
The Britain’s Got Talent judge, 54, broke down during a deeply personal conversation on BBC’s Amanda & Alan’s Greek Job, admitting that more than a decade after the tragedy, she still considers herself a mum of three.
And the words she chose have left the nation stunned.
“He Chose Me — Even If Only for a While”
Theo was tragically stillborn at seven months in 2011, a loss that changed Amanda’s life forever. But speaking with rare honesty, she explained that she never asked why it happened — instead, she found a way to survive it.
“I believe he chose me,” Amanda said quietly.
“Just for those few months — to experience life, to exist in this universe. Then the universe took him back.”
She paused, visibly emotional, before adding the line that has struck a chord with thousands of parents across the UK:
“I always say I am a mother of three. Because I am.”
A Pain She Never Hid — And Never Will
Amanda shares daughters Alexa, 20, and Hollie, 13, with her husband Chris Hughes. But Theo, she insists, is just as much a part of their family — even if he never took a breath.
“He was born sleeping,” she said.
“But he was perfect.”
Those words have flooded social media, with viewers praising her courage for speaking about a subject so many still struggle to voice out loud.
Speaking to Alan, she said: ‘When we lost Theo, there wasn’t one moment where I thought why has this happened to me?
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She added: ‘I was like, gosh, I was so lucky to have him for all that time. And even though he was born sleeping, he was perfect. And I always, always say I’m a mother of three, always, because I am’
The Moment That Still Haunts Her
Amanda also recalled the raw reality of hospital life after stillbirth — from being moved away from the maternity ward to avoid hearing other babies cry, to a comment she says she will never forget.
A healthcare worker told her she was “going home empty-handed”.
“I felt like a game show contestant,” Amanda admitted.
“That language stays with you forever.”
Since then, she has worked closely with baby-loss charities, determined to make sure no other parent feels as unseen or unheard as she once did.
Turning Grief Into Purpose
Rather than retreating into silence, Amanda has chosen to speak — again and again — for parents who can’t.
She has raised awareness, fundraised, and used her platform to demand compassion, sensitivity and understanding around stillbirth and pregnancy loss.
“I never know if I talk about Theo too much,” she confessed.
“But I talk about him because he mattered.”
A Moment That Silenced the Room
There were no theatrics. No drama. Just a mother speaking her truth — and reminding the world that love doesn’t disappear just because a child is gone.
As viewers watched Amanda hold back tears, one thing became clear:
Theo may not be here —
but he is not forgotten.
And in Amanda Holden’s heart, he never will be.